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Humor

Ezen viccek sajnálatos módon csak angolul érthetőek, mert vagy nem lehet őket lefordítani - nyelvi nehézségek okán - vagy mert nagyon nehéz megfelelő szavakat találni. Ám ha tudsz angolul, biztosan elnyerik majd tetszésedet.
Amennyiben megosztanád velem kedvenc vicce(i)det, bátran írd meg nekem!


- Do you drink Guiness, Phil?
- What else can you do with it?


"Drink, - said the Irish preacher - it's the greatest curse known to man. It makes you quarrelsome and it makes you angry with your wife. It makes you want to shoot your wife - and it makes you miss."


- Trade's bad, Paddy, I think I'll sell the pub and start a brothel.'
- Won't work, Mike. If you can't sell beer what makes you think you could sell soup?


The social worker knocked on the door which was opened by Mrs. O'Toole.
- Good evening. I'm collecting for a home for drunkards - said the caller - Would you care to make a donation?
- I certainly would - replied Mrs. O'Toole - Come back after the pubs shut and I'll give you my husband.


Doctor: "Do you realise that every drink you take shortens your life by a month?"
Patient: "That can't be right, doctor, otherwise I would have been dead for the last twenty years."


- Every time I get drunk I see hundreds of green snakes in my dreams. - confided Ray to his friend.
- Have you seen a doctor? - asked his friend.
- No, only green snakes.


The drunk tottered into his home and asked: "Is that bottle of brown stuff in the bathroom, shampoo?
- No, it's glue - answered his wife.
- Christ, no wonder I couldn't get my hat off in the pub - muttered the drunk.


The telephone rang in the office of Alcoholics Anonymus at midnight.
.- I need help - said a drunken voice an the telephone - At this moment I am sitting in a room surrounded by forty bottles of wine.
- How can I help - asked the AA man.
- I thought you might be able to put me in touch with one of your members who might have a corkscrew he's not using any more - said the man.


Barrister (to witness): "You say the defendant was drunk."
Witness: "Yes, sir, drunk as a judge."
Judge: "You mean drunk as a lord?"
Witness: "Yes, my lord."


- Do you serve woman in this bar?
- No, you have to bring your own.


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