Ezen viccek sajnálatos módon csak angolul
érthetőek, mert vagy nem lehet őket lefordítani - nyelvi
nehézségek okán - vagy mert nagyon nehéz megfelelő szavakat
találni. Ám ha tudsz angolul, biztosan elnyerik majd
tetszésedet.
Amennyiben megosztanád velem kedvenc vicce(i)det, bátran írd meg nekem!
- Do you drink Guiness, Phil?
- What else can you do with it?
"Drink, - said the Irish preacher - it's the greatest curse known to man. It makes you quarrelsome and it makes you angry with your wife. It makes you want to shoot your wife - and it makes you miss."
- Trade's bad, Paddy, I think I'll sell the pub
and start a brothel.'
- Won't work, Mike. If you can't sell beer what makes you think
you could sell soup?
The social worker knocked on the door which was opened by Mrs.
O'Toole.
- Good evening. I'm collecting for a home for drunkards - said
the caller - Would you care to make a donation?
- I certainly would - replied Mrs. O'Toole - Come back after the
pubs shut and I'll give you my husband.
Doctor: "Do you realise that every drink you take
shortens your life by a month?"
Patient: "That can't be right, doctor, otherwise I would
have been dead for the last twenty years."
- Every time I get drunk I see hundreds of green snakes in my
dreams. - confided Ray to his friend.
- Have you seen a doctor? - asked his friend.
- No, only green snakes.
The drunk tottered into his home and asked: "Is that
bottle of brown stuff in the bathroom, shampoo?
- No, it's glue - answered his wife.
- Christ, no wonder I couldn't get my hat off in the pub -
muttered the drunk.
The telephone rang in the office of Alcoholics Anonymus at
midnight.
.- I need help - said a drunken voice an the telephone - At this
moment I am sitting in a room surrounded by forty bottles of
wine.
- How can I help - asked the AA man.
- I thought you might be able to put me in touch with one of your
members who might have a corkscrew he's not using any more - said
the man.
Barrister (to witness): "You say the defendant was
drunk."
Witness: "Yes, sir, drunk as a judge."
Judge: "You mean drunk as a lord?"
Witness: "Yes, my lord."
- Do you serve woman in this bar?
- No, you have to bring your own.